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Seeking a Muse
Now accepting applications for a Muse in the old Greek sense to inspire a budding writer ready to commit to the completion of several works of fiction. Muse will be responsible for the inspiration and critique of the unpublished works-in-progress. The Muse will have no other function, except symbolic.Applicant must be:
- Female (men are uninspiring to me, sorry) ,
- Intelligent,
- Interesting,
- Creative,
- Positively critical (as opposed to soul-crushingly honestly critical),
- Young(ish) - sorry to be agist, but, no old crones, they only inspire horror novels and Macbeth,
- Literate - you have to be able to read at least at a college level. For example: Spurious demands will be met with egregiously insolent responses.
- Cute - not beautiful, but cute, quirky... Beautiful women tend to be skin deep. Cute goes all the way through.
- Un-dateable - I am not looking for a date but for the inspiration to finish two short stories and perhaps two books. We'll talk about dating when the Champagne flows on an accepted novel.
This opening was previously filled, however, the former Muse was fired because of an unfortunate bout of turning into a twat. Management reserves the right to terminate any Muse such a failure of character. This position could be temporary, should the previous Muse return de-twatted, management may consider rehiring.
This is an unpaid position. The Muse will receive Thanks in the credits of anything actually published. Conversely, the Muse assumes all risks and liabilities should nothing ever be published. That's right, I'll blame you for not inspiring me!
Anyone interested in this incredible opportunity should contact the author by submitting a comment to website. Serious applicants will include a short essay about their qualifications, their measurements and IQ test results.
Sincerely,
The flaccidmind
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Copyright: 2008-02-13 05:52:12